Making Babies

There are a few reasons why people are or become Christians, and they are:

> they are born Christian, and know nothing else. If they were born Muslim, they'd be Muslim.

> they aren't atheists, so they adopt the dominant religion thinking it's one way of many

> they were atheists, or considered atheism, and it scared them to death, so in essence, they created a god.

> they've been called, and have answered the call, and have been "saved"

I'm sure there are other reasons, but generally, I think it's either because they were born Christian, or they have created some sort of god to help them sleep at night, or they are just there and don't have the time or energy to seek truth, or they're genuinely His. And I guess you could say that in all of those 4 reasons, there could be the genuine. Any of these inductions could lead to a genuine adoption of the faith. Or they might not. One can be in the church all their life, have wisdom to boot because of all the sermons they’ve heard and all the Bible studies they’ve been to, but have no knowledge of Christ.

I don’t like how salvation is distributed these days. It’s normally a repeat after me type thing that ushers in eternal and magnificent grace. I guess that’s the best we can come up with based on scripture. I mean, if you look at Acts, it really only gives examples of people accepting the truth of the Gospel. Doesn’t tell us how.

Now let’s give the benefit of the doubt and say that all these people who go out to make converts and bring them into the fold by giving of oneself in word have the highest intentions. Let’s not think that a lot of these people will come into the church and translate their attendance to dollars with fallacious tithe teaching. Let’s not think that saving souls is the only way for the struggling church to stay alive. Let’s believe the best of intentions. Does evangelizing with best intentions (ie. The love of God) save people? Does it bring forth real fruit? Or are we still just filling our flock with goats?

"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. … Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.’” (Matt 25:31-33, 41)

Also read the Parable of the Weeds

It seems to me that the initial conversion may just be a stepping stone. It’s easy, it’s an introduction. And there may be a hint here in Phil 2:12, “Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed – not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence – continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling.” There’s a process, a starting point from which you must go. Or, let’s consider Jesus’ words to the churches at the time of John’s Revelation. Some of his churches he encourages and tells them to keep on as they are; others he rebukes, and says if they continue as they are, he will cut them off.

Think about our catch-phrase "born again", which is rooted in John 3:3. To further the analogy, they say being born is the most traumatic experience the average human ever experiences. Would the spiritual rebirth be any less of an event? Doesn't surrendering yourself away hurt even a little?

The validity of modern-day and historical conversions are contingent on fruit. And just because there is no fruit does not mean these people leave the church. They stay, and like weeds they suffocate our growth, and can destroy that which grows alongside them (the wheat). That's their purpose.

Nothing to be done but beware. The Parable of the Weeds makes me happy. And it makes me excited because it looks like it's happening. The weeds are being pulled up first and thrown to the fire. In my mind, I'm thinking Ted Haggard, and the RC Clergy Child Abuse flood. We have only one hope, but it's a good one.

Sheep Amongst Wolves

My last post sort of leads me to this post; something I’ve wanted to write about for a long time. It’s just such a hard topic, but it’s been on my mind’s back burner for so long.

When I consider our history, as humanity and as a church, and I hold it up to the words of Christ, for some periods there is no hint of resemblance. And it begs questions of all of us in the here and now. I consider the fact that during the apocalyptic reign of Hitler in a Christian nation, two-thirds of the SS called themselves baptized Christians. Two-thirds of those who performed the acts of Kristallnacht, two-thirds of those shoving hoards of people into cattle cars, two-thirds of those who manned the atrocious concentration camps, two-thirds of those who invaded sovereign nations and killed many innocent people, two-thirds of those who killed 6 million people based on traits that were not of the victims’ choosing, were Christians. How is that possible? How is it possible that Christian churches in Germany under Hitler hung the nazi flag behind the pulpit, or even bore the swastika on the pulpit? Christian soldiers wore the belt buckle (above), on which is written (translated): "God is with us".

Were they Christians?

How about the horrendous crusades? How about the convert-or-die program that has appeared many times over the years? How about selling indulgences? How about the Inquisition? How about the modern clergy sexual abuse flood?

Were they Christians?

And now, as there is a “Christian nation” with a “Christian” President, how about the 65,000 Iraqi civilians that have been put to death to gain access to oil?

Are they Christians?

My God, what are we capable of when we approach the Bible with an agenda? Is there anything we can’t proof-text?

Yes, in modern times, we think we are so evolved, but I have to shake my head every time I think that Dachau was “in production” just 60 years ago. My grandparents were alive to fight Hitler. These were not dumb people; I know my grandparents! To think, then, that such a thing is possible; that reason enough could be given to convince practically the entire German Church to endorse Hitler’s plans is mind-boggling. What does that mean for us now? Has time and regret made us immune to this ever happening again?

I wonder if something similar were to happen now, here, how many of us would go along with it. If there was reason enough given to convince us to commit absolute atrocities or just to simply do nothing about known atrocities, would we? Would I? Are we more than just animals that can be manipulated? Is there any Voice within, maybe a conscience? But yes, it is happening today. Watch Jesus Camp.

We, on the sidelines, shake our heads and say “that’s not us!”, or we separate ourselves from them. But aren’t we them? Haven’t we all come into the same “family”? It’s so easy to say we’re better, but we all fall under the same banner. Everyone will stand by what they do, even us. We can justify ourselves out of eternity. Weren’t the majority of Western Christians born into the church? And for those who were converted as adults, how many of these were ‘Damascus Roads’?

Who is real? Is there any way for us to know short of a trial (like that of Hitler)? It’s so easy to say “oh I would NEVER do that” and believe it. It’s so easy. But to say that without considering the scenario is foolish. We don’t know. We can’t know what we would have done.

Maybe the words of Christ will prove Him true. After all, we have never quite understood it when He said, “Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!” (Mt 7:22). Or when He said, “Small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Mt 7:14). Or when He said, “For many are invited, but few are chosen” (Mt 22:14). What did He mean when He said, “the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (Mt 8:12)?

How are we to reconcile these words with a global and influential church body? How are we to grant salvation with a whispered prayer? How can you tell from the outside if its desperation (or money) that gets the church bringing just anybody in, versus belief in the love of God? In no way is this implied easy, or that all who are part of the Christian religion are “saved”. And really, what it must boil down to is the institution, in whose womb is the actual bride of Christ – tiny, innocent, kept.

Christ was missed by Israel when He came to them. Why? Because they had certain preconceived ideas about what His arrival would look like. Instead of humility, they envisioned an army general. Rather than have him wash feet, they imagined Him served as royalty by all of humanity. In place of eating with sinners and giving words of redemption to prostitutes and lepers, they thought He’d slay these wicked with a word from His mouth. Instead of challenging and even cursing at the religious leaders who spoke in His name, they expected these men to be His closest advisors. They were wrong; they missed Him.

How will He come the second time? We have some of the very same notions actually, as Christians. He’ll come on a cloud and will slay all but his chosen ones with the simple brightness of his coming. He’ll establish his throne and the world will never know a day of unrest. It’s uncanny. But who are these chosen ones? Who are the real enemies of God? Israel would never have believed God’s enemies were the Pharisees and teachers of the Law. Never would they have thought this. Is it the same for us? God versus the institution? God verses those who “tie up heavy loads and put them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them”? Those who “travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, [you] make him twice as much a son of hell as you [are]”? Those who “strain out a gnat, but swallow a camel”? (Mt 23).

Who belongs to Him? Can we know them? Do we need to?

All of this scares me. It makes me think we’re falling short. It makes me wonder how big the church actually is. And I can’t help but look inwardly as well. Yet you don’t want the church to become a game where every man is for himself. It’s tough.

Thoughts. Mostly questions.

Jesus Camp

I had seen this new documentary on the video store shelf called Jesus Camp, and had read the back to get an idea what it was about. To be honest, I had avoided renting this movie, as normally when I go to the video store I’m in the mood to be entertained, and I had anticipated this movie actually making me mad. But eventually I did rent it. View Trailer

It wasn’t horrible. I found it quite honest and fair actually. There were certainly parts that evoked anger in me, parts that made me deeply ashamed of my associations, and parts that were actually quite precious. Basically, a camera crew follows a Pentecostal Children’s Pastor in the States who runs a summer camp. Her philosophy is that the “enemy” (ie. Muslims) are “getting them young”, meaning they are indoctrinating people into their faith when they are children, as these are the most impressionable and least sceptical. She explains that the Muslims are getting the kids excited about Islam, and proceeding to put grenades and AK47s in their hands. Therefore, Christians should be doing something of the same sort, short of grenades and AK47s. Two of the major issues that these children are trained to fight for are the re-Christianizing of the USA (because it apparently is God’s nation), and abortion (anti, of course).

A few noteworthy scenes. At the camp breakfast, after the children have got their sausage and pancakes and have sat down, there is a prayer. One of the adults stands up and thanks God for the food, ok, but proceeds to tell God to end abortion. What? At breakfast? I’d have lost my appetite. Just odd.

At another time, there was a quite well-known youth minister (who I had until now respected) who came to visit the children at the regular church service. He actually came to bring children with him to Capitol Hill in Washington to pray for God to “take back America” and to end abortion. As part of his protest or stand (or whatever), he had children come up to him like Catholics receiving communion to have their mouths taped over with red utilitarian tape. On the tape, of course, was written the word LIFE. Now I don’t know, parents, would you let your pastor tape your child’s mouth shut? That was my main concern here, however there is also the concern of using these children to help make your own points. Ah, children, so led and innocent!

I believe this film was released before the fall of Ted Haggard, the famed televangelist gay-hater who got caught praticing what he was preaching, if you know what I mean (also former President of the National Association of the Evangelicals, and former (?) Bush advisor). I felt bad for him before, until I watched this film. He invited this camera crew to his church, and he was taped giving a sermon. The camera was in fact on stage with him. Several times he looked into the camera and spoke to the audience of this documentary. For example “I think I know what you did last night. [audience laughs] In fact, if you don’t send me a cheque for $1,000 I’m gonna tell your wife what you did last night! [audience laughs again]. If you use any of this I’ll sue you! [audience laughs]” and proceeded to denounce homosexuality. View Clip I guess homosexuality is (was) the focus of that church. Other issue. He later was talking to his audience about his “10-year rule” in marriage, in that you shouldn’t marry anyone outside of 10 years your own age. He said that if in fact you are a younger woman married to an older man “I hope he dies so you can get his money!” Umm, ok? And the audience laughed.

Finally, the worst moment of all – the cardboard cut-out. During a service, one of the children’s ministers comes on stage and has all the children come to the front (like in our churches, for a nice little story, or a puppet!). She brought with her a cardboard cut-out of George Bush, and asked the children to pray for him, to speak blessing to him, to stretch their hands towards him and pray, and to then lay hands on the image of Bush. Ummm, no comment. It speaks for itself.

Where are the lines? Where is the line between teaching and indoctrination? Using and genuine self-willed action? One child explained how he was saved at 5 years old, saying that at that time he wanted “more out of life”. How? How does he know that at 5? Case in point that this is just jargon, indoctrination; he knows what to say. So is he a Christian? How can any of us know? So many questions arise.

I would certainly not recommend this film to any of my friends who don’t share my faith, as it is a complete and utter shame. However, all my Christian friends, please watch it. We need to know what our “brothers and sisters” are up to for accountability purposes, and more than that, we need to know how our (their) actions are perceived by the world in general.

The End is(n't) Near

If you live on planet earth you should definitely take the time to watch the documentaries An Inconvenient Truth and The End of Suburbia. These may give you some good-to-know info.

The basic premise of my point today is that there are two very real – and very global – catastrophes that are looming. In fact, they are predicted to be so close they’ll happen in our lifetime, even in the lifetime of someone my parents’ age.

Catastrophe 1: global warming, polar ice caps, an uninhabitable planet, and so on (though the science has been questioned, it is a generally accepted truth now – heck, even Pat Robertson is on the global warming band wagon!).

Catastrophe 2: the unpublicized end of oil, the sustainer of life on earth. Yep, the well is going to run dry. And who saw that coming? I mean, it’s not like we take it out of the earth, wash our cars with it, and it seeps back into the earth’s belly – we burn the stuff, and it’s gone forever!

I was thinking as I was watching The End of Suburbia today that the two of these catastrophes may sort of end up cancelling each other out. As soon as oil production peaks (and I’m not sure if it’s happened already but it’s speculated to happen near 2010), the supply will slowly begin dwindling, and the price of the stuff – the sustainer of life – will skyrocket. And of course, as time continues, the supply of oil will become so scarce, it’ll be a substance for the rich of the rich (like Dick Cheney). It is predicted, in this film, that this will cause all of humanity to completely reform their way of life, especially out in the West. The American Dream will become a memory, that of endless consumption, proud pillaging, and the 3000-mile dinner plate. People will be forced to revert, as it were, to the old way of life: village style. So long commute (yes!), not to mention not-a-second-thought heating and air conditioning, hello home-grown food, and who knows, maybe even the family will make a reappearance! Remember the family?

It had to be foreseen that our way of life, with the extreme level of consumption and waste and earth-domination, could not be sustained. Resources that are not given the time to replenish, and fields that are pesticide-showered to death, and a completely foreign goods-manufacturing force (think goods movement… shipping). How could we be so proud?

But alas, I had to believe that Al Gore would be the hero! While he’s gallivanting the planet advocating less consumption and more sustainable innovation in the name of slowing down the inevitable meltdown, he’s completely neglected the fact that in my lifetime, using a car will be out of my price range. Having electricity extracted from my walls at the rate I do now won’t be possible; I will have to rely on everything my solar panel and windmill can provide. Soon, my commute won’t be possible on my wage. Soon I won’t be able to afford a shirt that was brought into being in Bangladesh. Soon I won’t be able to bring my Caesar Salad in from California. Soon, I won’t have a choice!

Then, THEN, our problem will be solved! The earth will take away our choice to live more or less sustainably. It will save itself (so to speak – I’m not on the floor to Gaia!). With no one driving cars, and a lot of hard-core industrial plants being shut down, and no one being able to afford anything that has anything to do with oil (which is almost everything), maybe the earth will calm down on this whole atmospheric build-up thing, and begin to heal itself before it's too late for us all.

Who knew there’d be an end to oil? But it makes so much sense. Maybe this means there’ll be an end to war as well! Haha, now I'm just getting excited! All major causes of the end of our existence could be nipped in the bud by the end of oil. It's that Texas Tea whose blackness has been a witch's brew for all these years.



I wonder if the scientific elite at thebulletin.org have pitted these catastrophes against each other. I think not, since the clock remains at 5 to midnight. Maybe I’m just blowing smoke with my little theory here. One can hope!

777 Reasons why Jesus will return on July 7, 2007

Oh wait, it's past! Maybe I could still convince a few people... Did you know that there was a book released in 1987/88 entitled "88 Reasons why Jesus will return in 1988"? And when that didn't work, the next year there was a book called "89 Reasons why Jesus will return in 1989". Strange world eh?

Short & sweet! Stay tuned...

Questions for Pat Robertson & the Christian Coalition

1. What purpose is there in having a lobby group called the "Christian Coalition"?

2. Why is the Christian Coalition spending $1.4 Million in one single campaign to oppose universal health care legislation in the USA (Clinton reform 93/94); money which has been donated by well-meaning 700 Club viewers like my grandmother, who is by no means well-off, and money collected in other ways, like through a travel agency (see below)?

3. What business does a lobby group which is trying to give Christian principles the rule of the land have promoting a for-profit health care system, which is known to leave millions and millions living in fear, and has destroyed countless lives?

I am not a fan of Pat Robertson or the Christian Coalition. (click for details/history)


This is a pop-up that comes up when visiting the CC website. Oi.

Welcome to Our World!!

Welcome Gabi!! :)

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Jen's Blog

Once,
while in winter years,
those of foundation-falling and rebuilding,
I was in my basement room;
and while reading mystic writing,
nothing too exciting, just Madame Guyon,
I was suddenly caught up
in a physical feeling of bliss.
Like nothing I'd ever felt before
it started with my core,
and with its sudden force,
my jaw dropped wide and stayed there,
I could make no sound at all,
my body slid, overpowered, to the floor.
It came as I was reading,
of His fiercely jealous love,
of how He will cover us with abasement,
to keep us wholly to Himself.
Now I understand a little of
the 'Ecstacy of St. Teresa';
however brief, it was a monument,
a lighthouse on the sea.
Once, I was in ecstacy.

Once,
when all my friends had disappeared
and I at God was angry,
was in my bed attempting sleep
but could not for the thoughts.
Lay in anger at my friends,
turned in habit to my lord,
and stopped just shy of speech.
If Him I am not speaking to,
and all others have defected,
I am alone - the absolute -
and shivers shook my bones.
What's cold went colder
the dark turned black
as a universe of emptiness
became a crushing power.

Quickly I called to God, forgiving Him, and
forsaking this brief atheistic haunt,
I have since not left His side;
I will never leave His side.

Meditation

We know that we have passed from death to life
because we love one another.

1 John 3:14

On Charles Darwin...

There are rumours that Charles Darwin, the famed evolutionary theorist, endured a death-bed conversion to Christianity. I don’t intend to find out whether or not that’s true (in this writing), but rather to entertain the thought.

The man is considered pure evil by most adherents to any religion, a robber of faith (and thus salvation), a minion of hell, carrying out its anti-God purposes and lust for power. However colourful this language, I suppose it is somewhat true that he helped keep people from faith, and he also took faith from those who had it, however unconscious he was of its consequences.

Christians are often challenged with the question: “What if so-and-so makes it into heaven?” [feel free to insert your despot or hellion of choice]. What if Darwin was successfully forgiven of all his trespasses just before dying? Is it possible that he is in heaven right now? For this "conversation", let’s say he is.

The first point I want to make is that a death-bed conversion of someone so massively-effective in counter-God activity is an ultimate victory and a huge upset to the enemies of God. This is a phenomenal “war” tactic. That he converted to the thing he was known for fighting is a complete slam against evolution. That the "founder" of this world-view eventually decided that it wasn't true is an enormous discredit to the theory. No wonder the thought of him converting to Christianity has been so fiercely disputed!

At any point in Darwin’s life there could have been the perfect scenario that would have convinced him of God’s presence, and specifically of God’s presence as Jesus, and “saved his soul”. At any point he could’ve converted and all loss of faith in the earth would never have happened. God chose the last 10 or 15 minutes of his life. Why? Why let all those millions (and billions in his legacy) lose faith? The second part of this “war” tactic is that Darwin and his legacy now become a tool of heaven, a sickle if you will, separating wheat from chaff, the real from the imposter. I imagine a white and shining devil roaring with anger at the thought – it’s quite amusing!

My second point involves imagining Charles in heaven, the least of the least, having lived in no way for faith, having been forgiven of so much [unconscious] wrong. (Side note: I think most of our wrongs are unconscious, or are done thinking we are doing right). How humble, then, this squeaker-by! How great an addition to heaven’s bowed! How eternally faithful! I sometimes think about the finality of heaven; how the Bible never mentions anything about anyone being kicked out of, or defecting from, heaven after all is said and done. Is it because we lose the ability to be evil? It’s impossible; we’d cease to be free beings! It’s that we’ve been forgiven of so much that to defect would be unthinkable. The worst sinners forgiven are the most faithful eternal servants.

What if Charles Darwin is there? How many others can we possibly imagine being there? Our thoughts of it have to be so backwards to accept it; seems that way with most things of His world. Wow, I love God.

To make another point, what does it mean for us, as Christians in the earth now, that Charles Darwin could be a brother of ours? Should we speak better of him now? Even if he remained an atheist passing into death, should we still "hate" him? I mean, the bottom line of our faith is forgiveness; not only our own forgiveness by God, but a reciprocation of that forgiveness to everyone else. Some thoughts to chew on I guess!

Bush visits Pope

However the outcome of it, I'm glad Bush took the time to visit Vatican City while in Europe to make audience with the Pope. I'm glad because it shows that Christianity is still relevant, that religion is still relevant. I know this is political showmanship on behalf of the president, but the Pope did get the opportunity to express his concerns to the president over issues like the Iraq war, the global HIV/AIDS crisis, and even U.S. Immigration reform. He spoke on behalf of the Church, telling the president what the faith of 64 million Catholic Americans thought of his work and government. No one else gets to do this!

From the articles I read about the meeting, it almost seems like this resembled a meeting between teacher and student, or boss and employee (with the pope as teacher and boss). Or for a political comparison, a meeting between Queen and Prime Minister.

CNN reports: 'The pope also asked Bush about his meeting in Germany with Russian President Vladimir Putin, who has criticized a U.S. missile shield in Europe. "The dialogue with Putin was also good?" the pope asked. Bush, apparently looking at photographers and reporters who were about to be escorted from the room, replied, according to AP: "Umm. I'll tell you in a minute."'

I also find the albeit politically-charged words of Bush after his meeting with the Pope comforting: "After 6-1/2 years of being a president ... I've been to some unusual places and met some interesting people and I was in awe".

Small Wonders.

Source: 'Bush feels Awe for Loving Pope', CNN online, June 9, 2007

The Pope Has Never Read the Bible?

I had heard in the news that the pope’s jeep had been jumped on by an intruder today, so I went to youtube to see if I could get a video of it. Searching “pope” I came up with, and watched, the following video:



I find it quite disturbing and immensely immature. I don’t think it’s disturbing in the cases and points it makes, but that it uses such simpleton logic that would convince the uneducated [in matters of the Bible] very easily. I’m guessing, and I think somewhat accurately, that the creator of this video does not like the pope, or any religious leader for that matter, nor does he believe in any religion. That’s fine, he can do what he wants. But to evangelize with such a lack of tact?

I don’t have much more to say on it other than the fact that I’m quite disturbed that people will see this and generate an opinion using it. I hate closed minds, and I hate when only one side is presented, and this is oozing with those things.

Music...

However this may be interpreted, I am going to do it anyway. In December, on a whim, I booked some studio time and put down 3 songs (covers) as a sort of demo/audition. Not happy with the outcome, nothing became of it. As it was just sitting there, I thought maybe I would post the usable parts on here, for a laugh, as they say. So here we go, covering When You Say You Love Me, clips of the beginnging and end:

When you Say you Love Me - Part 1

When you Say you Love Me - Part 2

One of the other songs is called You Are a Child of Mine:

Child of Mine

Bon Appetit!

A Few of my Favourite Things...

On "The Road"...

There are many, many ways to God. In fact, there are as many ways as there are people. Knowing my readers, that will be read two ways, and both will be happy. One camp will read that God is Jesus and that there are many ways to Jesus, and the other camp will read that all religions are the same script different cast, and they all bring us to the same place. I want to talk about the latter. I just can't seem to make sense of it, but a lot of people believe it.

I guess the idea that all religions are the same is based on certain assumptions. The base assumption has got to be that we are as we are meant to be, in that, nothing is wrong. Even though there is evil in the world, for some reason this is how it is meant to be. That we live and then die, and that there's some afterlife; that there's an intentional haze between God and man, as opposed to one as a result of something going wrong; that your life is what you make of it, in that, you can make choices toward or away from "god" and evil/negativity is a purposed obstacle to perfection or enlightenment.

With those assumptions, I guess it makes sense, then, that everything is ok, and every one is on their own journey. Some find God through the ways of Buddhism, some through Hinduism, some through Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Voodoo, Hedonism, Satanism, and even Atheism (maybe the assumption is that God is the enlightenment).

But, assuming the presence of evil is good (per se), what about God? This way of thinking also seems to imply that God isn't, or that God is merely an idea, that human perfection or enlightenment is the goal, that it's about us. I only say that because all the different "paths" have a different concept of who or what God is, and saying that all these paths lead to him/it cannot possibly be true. They all go different places. They all have different philosophies, different objects, different obstacles that must be overcome, different levels of enlightenment, a different goal or afterlife. Yes, there is room for perception (and by that I mean, if many different people look at a piece of art, it will mean something different to each of them), but there also must be room for truth (by that I mean, it is a painting, it is oil based, it is red blue and green, it isn't a portrait, it isn't in a frame, it is on a white canvas, etc).

There are certain truths about you, no matter how wrong the perceptions of you are (ha, I know this full well!). And if God is a being (like we are beings), there are certain truths about "him". The Atheists say he isn't there, the Hedonists say it's us, the Hindus say there are thousands of them, the Buddhists say the existence of God "tends not to edification", the Jews' and Muslims' monotheistic God says different things to each group, and the Christian God is the one who came in search of man. How is it possible for all of these religions or thought-methods to be leading to the same place?

I think that what is essentially being said by these people is "we don't know", and that is absolutely valid. It's a way of saving face, and it's precious. However, it's better to admit not knowing something, than to insist knowing something you don't. This is also a way of combating the arrogance of one-wayers. To them, the concept of there being one way is offensive, exclusive, and downright rude. However, perception isn't the only way of looking at God, there must be room for truth too.

There must be right people, and there must be wrong people. And within that giant spectrum, there must be those who are somewhat right, and those who are closer to wrong. How to know? How to know but to keep searching, but to keep questioning your own beliefs? How to know but to keep journeying? How to know but to keep an open mind, and especially an open heart? The truth must eventually be seen ... at least that's what I think. :)

More on Forgiveness...

I lay awake thinking about forgiveness last night, and realized I couldn’t just stop with my previous post. I have so much to say on it! Not that I have a huge readership or anything, but that I know there are readers who hurt terribly, and are trying to be free of it. How to be free but through forgiveness? It’s the fruit of healing.

As noted earlier, our whole faith is based on forgiveness, under whose radar has slipped the grand condition (see Matthew 6 quote below in red). Forgive and you will be forgiven, don’t forgive and you won’t be. How to be saved without being fully forgiven? In essence then, the manifestation of forgiveness is your complete forgiveness of others.

I used to have a heavy load of offenses to forgive; and I hated the load. I had the will but not the way. I would pray and pray and pray about it, and ponder, ponder, ponder, trying desperately to find some way to forgive. Somehow, I think we know deep down that forgiveness is freedom; it’s in our hearts. I tried everything, nothing worked; I read so many books, and though offering insight, none told me how! I remember at one point making a little blank booklet and carrying it around me so that whenever a memory popped into my mind about someone hurting or offending me, I’d write it down with plans to burn the book in some metaphorical ceremony when I was done. That didn’t work.

After I had exhausted any method my mind could muster, I came to resign in God’s love, and I think that’s where forgiveness begins and ends. I read about Joseph, whose horrible tale of betrayal and hurt ended royally. How could he possibly forgive his brothers for what they did to him? How could he forgive his prison mates for forgetting him, the ruler’s wife for framing him, and above them all, God for letting it all happen? In fact, he wasn’t let out of that prison until he had made peace with them all, and until he even had a heart of thankfulness towards his offenders for what they had done (see Gen. 50:20). What he didn’t realize until the end was that God held the keys to his prison, not Pharaoh. And it’s the same for us.

Consider this: Did the Lord forgive me because He felt sorry for me? No. Because He looked at all the things that made me the way I was and determined it wasn’t my fault? No. We’re all at fault. He forgave for no more and no less than His love for me - His pearl of great price. Everyone can blame everything wrong on anything and be absolutely right, but until we own everything that’s wrong with us, dismissing all who’ve made us this way, we have nothing to offer God to forgive us of. That’s why: forgive and you will be forgiven.

There’s a big front door to forgiveness. Make a list of all the wrongs against you, and manually squeeze them out of your blame membrane. Long, tedious, imperfect, and a work that can be boasted of. There’s also a small door to forgiveness, around the corner, a few steps away, and kind of hard to see. It’s the “I Love You” door. Everything, everything, everything that makes up the word “you” on its banner is preceded by “I Love…”. I love you. If He loves who I am, who I blame everyone else for making me, then I guess I’m ok. This is me. This is who I am. This is who He loves. Now I can set everyone free!

I love the story of Joseph; it’s my favourite. I find so much help from his life. I’ve come now to realize, just like God helped Joseph do, that my life would not be worth living had I not come through what I have, nor would it's future have any meaning. And without going into detail (since this post is quite long already!), I have literally experienced resentment re-formed into love, bondage converted to freedom, and mourning become dancing. And it all happened within me, not externally. It was a work of the heart; a simple revelation of His love for me, permeating my entire existence (of both time and space).

*deep, happy breath* It’s so good.

On Forgiveness...

If I were to ask you what the foundation of Christianity is, the bottom line, I think most of us would come up with the same answer: forgiveness. But I am always surprised how little attention this gets, and how little teaching, especially when the following words of Jesus are brought to mind: For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forigve you; but if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins (Mt 6:14,15). The weight of that verse is huge, even astronomical. To think that our forgiveness, the very provision of salvation, is implied conditional! They should really be talking more about this!

As someone who's had to do a lot of forgiving in his day, I discovered something of great value and help a while back. It was in finding a key to loving people, because I have not always loved people; I have mostly always hated them, in all honestly. I got to thinking about how every single human being is lovable; every single human being has been loved (if you'll allow that generalization). Even horrible murderers, rapists, and even despotic psycho-rulers had someone cry when they died. If even they can be loved by someone, if by even one person, then it is possible for me to love them too. If my own offender is loved by others, they are lovable by me. I believe this is how God views us; after all, He loves everyone as well right?

In realizing that, honestly, it wasn't much help, but it was a stepping stone. It doesn't say how to love, to look past flaws, and even look past their direct offenses against us. I had Stephen in mind; this is the forgiveness I wanted the capability of (see Acts 7:60).

It was in contemplating God's love for me, and trying to figure out why some would and some wouldn't love me (understand context, I only have myself to contemplate as I know myself the best). It came to the fact that God understands, because He's seen all and knows all my motivators and deep psychological triggers, and most of all, He sees my heart - his pearl of great price. I realized then that it's in understanding. The worst psycho-killer can be found to have been tormented as a child, and while yes, he has made horrendous choices and decisions, is largely a product of his environment. And we can blame it on the parents, but they are the way they are because of their parents, and so on. We can keep pushing blame up the family tree (sins of the fathers...) until we get to Adam. (There's much to be said about taking responsibility for your own offenses as well; after all, how can you give something away that is not in your possession? This, however, helps those of us on the forgiving side of the equation).

Point is, every human is understandable. However, this doesn't excuse them, it just makes them lovable, and for God's children, forgivable.

Now, as it is impossible to fully understand even one person, let alone every one we need to forgive, it's easier to then make simple assumptions. Good assumptions. We can assume, now, that all humans are understandable, and let that fact alone fuel loving them. Also, we can assume that because they are understandable, they are all lovable. And finally, because there are so many indicators of this in the Bible (John 3:16, 2 Peter 3:9), we can assume that in each and every human being is a heart, a centric yet oft-neglected object capable of so much good, a pearl of great price. I mean, consider that price, let it describe the worth of each and every one of us.

This all helped me, so I thought I'd share; maybe it'll help some of you. It's so hard to forgive, yet so necessary.

This could be the very minute
I'm aware I'm alive;
all these places feel like home.

With a name I'd never chosen
I can make my first steps
as a child of 25.

Lyrics: Snow Patrol - Chocolate

Welcome

To
Heaven...

will post more later...

Turning 25

Normally birthdays, for me, are non-events. I've never really made a big deal out of them; they're just another day. In fact, if it was possible to universally gauge ourselves in terms of general maturity and other non-substantial things, I'd think we'd have more to celebrate than our current time-counting method.

In any case (jeez, I get sidetracked easy!), I'm approaching my 25th birthday, and thus far, have done so with an air of indifference, until yesterday. I slipped into a state of melancholy, due to some recent, life-impacting changes, and suddenly my 25th seemed more of an occasion than I thought. The past year, for me, has involved quite the dose of change within me as a person, and before this set of changes, there were quite a few in the previous 5 or 6 years. A great friend, Paul, says "not many people find a sense of ‘person’; they spend a lifetime in self discovery". I feel as though I've finally come into myself, I'm finally living as me. My life had been so fearful, so hindered, so painful before, but all of that has been shed, thank God. So many of my "issues" have been brought out into the open, exposed, and shot down (again, thank God). I feel as though I'm a new man, but the same man; as if I was the false Matt before, now the real Matt. And of course, I can't stop telling everyone how happy I am! (I hope people aren't bothered by it, but I can't hide it!)

So with this "new lease" on life, and with other things changing in my life, I was thinking yesterday that maybe I should treat 25 as a milestone, a turning point. I view the first 25 years of my life as preparatory years, years of establishment, then breaking that establishment, and creating a new establishment. And of course, a good foundation is the beginning of any building project. Now I can begin to build, to live as I am meant to live, to do the things that I feel are in my heart to do.

Please don't read that I think I've reached perfection (haha!), but that I've reached a good place to start. If I had tried to do the things that were "in my heart" to do in my former self, I would've left disasters everywhere I went. I don't think there should be shame in saying that you are better than you were before.

I now want to face 25 with a conscious objective. I want to use the above reasoning as ammunition against procrastination and laziness, and as fuel for perseverance. I want to live proactively, instead of my current reactive way.

So I'm going to take some time to reflect on the past few years, to take a look at what I've been doing, how I've been living, the effects and their causes. I'm also going to [try to] apply what I learn from that to the beginning of the next 25 years. That is, what am I doing wrong? How can I do better? What am I doing right? Also, I need to figure out what exactly it is that I feel I must get done in my life; what should the first few years of my next 25 involve? What is my (dare I use the mystical word) destiny? A retreat is an order.

I've got a week off work (thank God!) and a head full of thoughts (oi!), so I'm excited to get to it.

Oh ya, and I'll be doing this on the sandy beaches of Oregon, starting Monday!

I'll let you know how it goes ...

Emotion

One of the most insulting things anyone has ever said to me (and this wasn't too recently) is that I am "emotionally retarded". I don't know, I just can't shake it. Normally, when someone says something like this, I step back and evaluate the words said; I think we all do. This statement has just stuck into me like a thorn; I don't agree at all! It cuts even deeper when it's someone who's very very close to you. I'm sure everyone has a story like this.

In having this comment in the back of my mind for some time, I've thought a lot about emotions and emotional maturity, and I've come to realize that there is a fine line between 'emotionally retarded' and 'emotionally mature', or at least the perception of which is which. I know that sounds odd at first, but do let me continue...

I think what this person was referring to was the ability to feel, or feel much. To me, this can be said as I don't wear my heart on my sleeve. This is very true, and I find nothing wrong with it. I'm not entirely public with my inner workings, at least I haven't been in the past. However, this does not mean I don't feel, or have perception of the feelings of others. Quite the contrary ... hello! I write poetry! :)

I find it is in fact those who feel uncontrollably that are lacking some maturity. That is, you can feel all you want, and have feelings to no end, but to have no control, and to learn nothing from the experiences of having uncontrolled emotions wreak havoc on relationships is not the ideal emotional state. It creates misery for more than just the "emotional" one.

I've had my share of emotions, I've had truckloads, cement truck loads, and of course, when that happens to us, we learn to cope. We learn what's real and what isn't, what's worth dealing with and what is based on stupid guesses or assumptions. We learn about the intentions of others, about how difficult it is to communicate, to hear what's really being said. For example, when suddenly offended by something someone says, is being upset really valid? Was it said with the intent to offend? Or am I drawing offense out of a statement meant otherwise? Yet the ability to pick our battles is impossible without inner strength, being defined inwardly, rather than by the words of others.

For emotional maturity to come across as being "emotionally retarded" did well to teach me what emotional maturity really is.

My rants on emotions... thanks for reading!

in my evolution to happiness
and to loving my own self
i've lost those who
shared my former insecurity
and loathing self;
how can one be so repulsed
by my new way of being,
by my freedom from a hindered life,
by my pure and growing joy?
so joy becomes coupled
with casualties and pain
like ying with yang
and black with white;
the greater joy
the greater loss
the higher prize
the higher cost.

I'm back!

I apologize everyone for being so behind with the blog! I’ve been busy (yeah right!)… no I have.

Here’s what I’ve been thinking:

Evangelism: for the masses?

I know this may come across as blasphemy at first glance (like most things I write), but is it really the duty of every Christian to make more Christians? When I look back over my Christian life, there have been 2 things that I have always felt really uncomfortable doing, and because of that, have experienced guilt, and the desire to “get better”. These are: worshipping with all the “actions”, and telling others about Christ.

The worship thing I sort of figured out a while back. Contrary to the teaching of my church at the time, I don’t feel it’s necessary for everyone to have eyes closed and hands up. Singing songs is not necessarily worship. That aside, I’ve come to a re-evaluation of this “tell-your-friends” evangelism mentality. Don’t get me wrong, nothing negative can (maybe I should use “should”) come from telling your friends or telling your fellow commuter about the great things your faith has done, but should I feel guilty for not doing that. Is it really up to me to “save souls”? Is the eternal destiny of those I come across really in my hands?

I remember a hyper-evanglistic church I was a part of in England. While feeling guilty for being afraid to evangelize every Tom Dick and Harry during services, I would witness the “witnessing” on the way home on the train and feel absolutely ashamed. Arguments with complete strangers who were just on their way home or to a pub, in your face pamphlets, and events designed to entice the masses with their flavours, all seemed in poor taste and anti-evangelistic.

Apart from my own experience with evangelism or lack thereof, I want to know if it is really my duty as a Christian to “be fruitful and multiply”. While I would say a good majority of Christians are “born” via lay-person interaction, what type of Christians are these? Are they worth it? Are we creating a church based on world-imitation with a Christian undertone and wobbly theology? Or are we actually building a kingdom of power and love? I look around and think not.

You know, there are people actually called by God and empowered by the Holy Spirit to do the work of evangelism. Is it only up to them? Wow, when you think of the eternal implications of their job, imagine the pressure. The pressure against not doing it, and the pressure to do it right. It’s a heavy responsibility that can either be given to the very few or shared by the masses because of its weight. I don’t know which is correct, but I’ve been pondering it…

I’m still alive :)

I'm Alive!

My faithful visitors... sorry it's been so long! I have been quite engaged lately, you know, taking life by the horns. Haha.

So just a quick hello; I'll be posting soon on some more substantial topics later :)

In the meantime please see this post, Shannon Storey gets snotted by an elephant in Africa. LOL

Misunderstanding so often
and given to a secret scoffing,
I can not grasp the methods of worship.
I'm confused in seeing those
with hands up high and eyes closed,
singing out with face up.
Being one well-practiced
in more than just lip service,
I imagine I know better,
but song and dust-realm striving -
no dignity surviving -
may just be the payment of a debtor.
I forget our price, our cost
and that old beloved cross;
I see hands reaching heavenward,
voices singing to be heard,
and with these raised
I realize you are worthy of this praise;
you are worthy of our praise.

Left Behind

Strange title for a post on the blog of a preterist-sympathizer, but "the end times" has been on my mind lately, particularly the 'rapture', the Bible's missing word. It's come to my thoughts because a certain person I know was trying to convince another certain person I know on Christianity, and they hit a wall on this rapture theology. It reminded me of my disbelief.

Particularly bothersome to me is the depiction of the event in the likes of "Left Behind", where the non-believers run around silly looking for loved ones and all they can seem to find are piles of clothes, or of the chaos that erupts when Christians in vital physical positions (such as flying a plane) are suddenly evacuated. Planes fall to the earth killing hundreds, cars crash, etc. It boggles my mind that this display of theology is acceptable... yet it is. The loaded authors have now sold more than 63 million copies of books from their endless end-time saga. Enough about that.

A doctrine not taught by the fathers of our faith, the great escape wasn't popularized until the 1830s, and now more so than ever. I don't want to get in to all the reasons not to believe in "the rapture" or at least a pre-suffering one; all I want to say is that, whether it's right or wrong, is it more responsible to promote a faith that's dependent on a sudden escape, or one that is dependent on a faith in Christ that guides through suffering? Because it is uncertain whether this rapture will happen, or when it will happen, isn't it wisdom to prepare for it not happening? That's my take.

You can't just hold up one theory and ignore other passages referring to the same event or time period, namely the prophecy of Jesus: "Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved." (Mt 24:9-14)

How are both the highly-speculative rapture and the prophecy of Jesus true? Shouldn't the leaders of the church build up their followers in their faith so that as few as possible defect, rather than preach the hell out of the rapture, and MOST defect as soon as the smallest amount of persecution falls in their lap? Strangely enough, this prophecy seems to fit in very well with this rapture promotion of the "end times" (hey, I'm allowed to speculate too!).

After all, what makes the Christians of 2007 different than those of 70 AD? Than the Christians who were used as light torches along the road into Rome [lips sewn shut so they didn’t scream as they were burnt alive and disturb those walking the road]? Than those used as lion food? Than those in Iran right now? The rapture comes out of western thought - western privileged thought. We're rights-focused, and I think we may have created a doctrine that demands our rights, whether or not they will be given to us.

I was irked by the insistence on this theology, especially as it created a stumbling block for another person - I'm sure one of millions out there. Anyway, I'm not trying to make any bold statements... just to provoke thought.

Any ideas?

Did I really just say I'm not trying to make any bold statements?! Ha!

On Living With Other Humans...

So recently I forsook the much-enjoyed life of a solitary habitat to join 4 other humans in a house closer to work. Now I'm not one to dramatize little blips here and there, but... but nothing, I have nothing to complain about. For the most part, I live like I'm on my own, except for the traces of co-habitation left behind by the others in this house. Things like the bathroom - access hasn't been a problem, but cleanliness might be a bit of one (we have a shedder in the house!). But other than that, nothing is wrong. It's different, not bad.

Although, I must admit I miss having my very own space. Everything was where I put it and wanted it (it was MY mess), and if the shower was dirty, it was my dirt, and if I left dishes out for a few days, I only had to answer to myself (which can still be harsh!). Also, the fact that I didn't have to spend all my time in my bedroom was nice. Then there's the fact that I can't really sing at the top of my lungs anymore; I actually miss that. Such moments are now reserved for the car at night :)

This is good though; I should learn to live well with others, to tolerate others. And I am!

All part of [slowly] growing up.

4 Years in Iraq, But Who's Counting?

We're counting...

Iraqi Deaths:
Military: 4,900 - 6,375

Civilians: 58,908 - 64,729

Coalition Deaths:

USA: 3,218

UK: 134

Other: 124*

Source: costofwar.com

Movie of the Month...

Great film! Starring the brilliant James McAvoy (Last King of Scotland, The Lion The Witch & The Wardrobe), this one had me laughing most of the way through. Clever and witty, engaging and real. Don't want to say much more at the moment, as this isn't one of my infamous movie reviews ;-)

Haven't heard anything about it? Check the site: Starterfor10.com

Grandparents...

Feeling very bad about my grandparents, I took a day off work last week to go visit with my dad and sister. Though sad, I was very much assured that the staff at this facility knew what they were doing, and that they actually did it with care. It’s a private care centre run by a Christian organization, which shouldn’t make you assume it’s good care, but from what I saw, it is. They make sure my grandparents eat their meals together, and see each other as often as possible.

I really love old people; I met Kassi, who spelled her name for me several times, but when I asked her what her last name was, she couldn’t remember. It was very sweet. I also helped this lady in a wheelchair who was coming inside off the deck because it was chilly outside; she couldn’t get in the door on her own, and no one was around to help, so I pushed* her in and sent her on her way.

My grandma didn’t want us to leave and thanked us profusely for coming and helping her. She cried again as we left, and I think we all did as well. *sigh* so sad. Here we are:

* wheelchair, there was a wheelchair; kinda sounds bad "I pushed her in"

Meditations

This one is blue...













This one is pink...











This one ... well, it's wild!








This has got to say something about these birds' Creator, so I've made it a meditation. I'm always mesmerized by these wildly creative animals. And I'm a nerd :)

Meditation

You hem me in - behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

Psalm 139 : 5

Something is Wrong...

I'm upset today, and it's not due to the fact that it has poured rain for more than 24 hours (it is pouring out there!). A number of things can factor into my upset-equation, but I'm mostly upset over my grandparents. They're in an assisted living home in Gibsons (a short ferry ride away), as they are now 90+ years old. They've done well though. They've stuck together, in the same room, for the past year or two, and for the same life for over 60 years. Until now: They've been separated. My grandmother's health has deteriorated to the point where she needs more constant care, so this weekend, they moved her to her own room on the other end of the complex, in the "more attentive care" section. My grandpa will remain where he is.

Now, this could've been much worse. If my grandma was unable to get in to this room, Plan B could've been a facility out of town, which would've been 10x worse.

The last time I saw my grandparents was last autumn. As we left, my grandma walked us out, and cried as she gave us hugs, and cried as we pulled away, waving her hankerchief in the air. She's conscious of her fragility, and wants nothing more than to go home; she prays for it. It broke my heart; the thought of being in a place where you are just breaking down and waiting for your moment is beyond comprehension to me at this stage.

This whole situation is breaking my heart again. My grandma worries so much about my grandpa, and now he won't be around. She's going to have some major problems with that; we all just know it.

What have we become? Is this really how we treat our old people, our parents, and grandparents? It's repulsive! It makes me hate the system we've created. This is not how it's meant to be. For ages past, elders were honoured, and more so as they aged. Families lived together, and the seniors lived with their families until they passed on. Or if they weren't living together already, they were taken in, and cared for.

The industrialization and wealth of our society has made us machines, and economic factors (liabilities); evolution has made us dead cold.

Back when families lived together, and everyone fit in to their roles, and there were relationships happening, and people believed in a god or an afterlife, things must've been better. Now we are just numbers, throwing money at problems and hiring others to do the dirty work of caring for our loved ones. As if preparing to die wasn't abhorrent enough, we have to now do it with perfect strangers. I don't want that for myself, do you?

Seeing a bunch of very old people, white and wrinkled, sitting around in diapers and giant bibs, babbling nonsense is incredibly sad to me. We start and finish our lives the same way.

I'm just a mess of thoughts and sadness today. It all makes me think of Malachi 4:5

See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of the Lord comes. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse.

I think it makes sense in the context of how we have come to treat our elders (our "fathers"). So I guess there's a glimmer of hope ... or maybe a threat of a glimmer.

Reformation: Cont'd

So Peter brought up a good point (see comments on Reformation post); however, my approach to the subject was not meant to imply which of the Protestants or Catholics were right, but to highlight the fact that they both thought they were right. Let me explain...

It's human nature to think that what you believe is right. It's also human nature to tend towards separation upon hardship rather than maintaining union. When the church was split (for a second time, after the great East/West Schism was formed), the Protestants called it a Reformation, which by its implications, is a slam to the Catholic institution. The maturity level seems to be very low, and it continues today. Whether you're Mennonite, Catholic, Lutheran, United, Methodist, Pentecostal, Non-denominational, Eastern Orthodox, and to expand our horizons, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu, Scientologist, or whatever... you think you're right. In itself, there's nothing wrong. But then creating labels to enforce your superiority is a bit childish (I think).

On the backburner in my mind, while thinking about the mislabeled Reformation, I'm thinking of the ideal outcome of that era. What do you think? I think ideally, we'd be one church. When it's all said and done, will Catholics go to one side of heaven, Eastern Orthodox the other side, and pockets of Protestants everywhere in between? I think not. Truth will be known, and until then, everyone seems bent on dividing over what they believe that to be. Did you know the Protestants have divided themselves into more than 30,000 different denominations? 30,000!

How difficult to bite the bullet, to swallow your pride, but isn't that what life is for those led by the Spirit rather than the "survival of the fittest" beast?

Anyway, I rant I rave... nothing will ever change!

"Reformation": a Positive Spin

For those of you familiar with Church history, the Reformation refers to a period of instability and power-challenging in the 16th century led by the likes of Martin Luther, John Calvin, and John Knox. The result of this challenge to the Roman Catholic establishment, the Protestant church(es).

Maybe I’m not seeing something here, but why do we call this the “reformation”? This has puzzled me for several years; that, by the very definition of the word, it really seems to be a mislabeling of a very important era in church history. In fact, it’s more of a church split than an internal improvement or correction.

If the church had remained united as one, under the Roman head, then yes, we can properly call it a reformation, but a reformation is not a creation of something separate and different. Does anyone agree?

In fact, the Catholic church followed this shake-up with their very own [now also mislabeled] reformation: the Counter-Reformation. This did away with the practices that rightly troubled the “reformers” like Luther and Calvin. Things like countering corrupt bishops and priests, banning the selling of indulgences, creating barriers to other financial abuses, as well as returning to a more foundational spirituality were all on the table at the Council of Trent (pictured right).

The Counter-Reformation, in my opinion, should truly be called the Reformation since, by its definition (the act of reforming; state of being reformed; improvement, betterment, correction, reform), implies an internal change and not the creation of another entity that is different.

Old Label / New Label
Reformation / Church-Split
Counter-Reformation / Reformation

Screw the Positive Spin - Yay? Nay?

So long my belovd bachelor pad!

I moved today... to North Burnaby! I hate moving, so I'm glad I got the hard parts over with. I rented a van and moved all the furniture in. Tomorrow, and over the coming days, I'll move all the "details" over. I have until Wednesday evening... but I also have to make the place I'm leaving spotless.

So anyway, this is to let you know I've moved. Instead of sending out a gigantic mass-email with my new contact details, I thought I'd post the fact that I'd moved, and anyone who wanted to come see me (I'm guessing it'll be few) could just ask me how to get there. Fair enough?

If you want to call me, I just have my cell now (no landline), so just call that. Same number :)

See you weekends Abbotsford!

If you want to get your Manager to acknowledge your existence....

Muu hahahahaha! A little experiment today in the effects of 'stirring the pot', so to speak. In my office, we wear business casual clothes. Today, I put on a tie. No one wears ties, unless of course, they have an interview (or a funeral... something out of the ordinary). Anyway, I wore the tie, and everyone, I mean everyone, asked me if I had an interview today. It was hilarious! And when I told them I didn't have one, that I was just wearing it for kicks, they didn't believe me!

My manager, who rarely even acknowledges my existence (he leaves it up to the supervisors to maintain good relations with us), came to my desk and chit-chatted with me. And my direct supervisor was extra nice to me today. I presume this is because they don't want me to leave, and assume I have an interview. LOL

So funny! What an experiment! I should wear a tie again next Thursday to make them think I have a 2nd interview. MU HAHAHA!

...a time for fun...

Big T was right, Matt needs a little fun. “He’s so serious and deep all the time!” It was true, and I have reformed! I’m happy to say that I’m intentionally having more fun now, and I’m finding it’s so important and healthy! Yes, be serious and contemplative, but not all the time. Loosen up! Have some fun! Let go for a while!

What a great lesson to learn… thanks Big T!

(PS – do you even know I call you Big T?)

About A Boy

In Review

When a video store goes out of business, its patrons are in luck! My video store did such, and I got to pick up a few DVDs at rock-bottom (well, could’ve been lower) prices. One of them, About A Boy. This is a movie I’ve seen before, and I really like it.

Based on the book by Nick Hornby, this movie is directed by the same two guys who directed the American Pie series. You wouldn’t know it though, About A Boy actually has a soul. Starring Hugh Grant (who apparently didn’t have to act much to play the part), Toni Collette (who stars in another of my favourites, Little Miss Sunshine), and Rachel Weisz (yeow!), this is one of those feel-good movies, but it has a bit of cheek to it as well.

The basic premise is a challenge to the saying “No man is an island”. The man, Hugh Grant, is very independent, and happily so. In his quest to populate his calendar with dates with single mums, he ends up very involved in the life of a 12-year-old boy, and effectively Hugh becomes “about a boy”. He learns through having real relationships and actually caring about other people (ie. love), that there indeed is a substantial purpose to life.

Maybe this is just a movie that I like because its title should actually be “About Matt” (yeah, I’m exaggerating), but at the same time, it is quite entertaining, especially for those familiar with the British way of life (or at least the humour!). Normally, I hate it when writers make kids just as smart as or smarter than the adults, but this kid's thought processes are just funny. It's hard to hate it! But he is definitely [written] smarter than his mum and Hugh Grant.

It is a flawed happily-ever-after ending, because you get the sense that the problematic characters are not fully cured, just better. But I think that is a great way to end a story! For all the warm-and-fuzzy junkies out there, this may still do it for you - everyone, and I mean everyone, is half a couple by the end.

Next time you’re out renting a DVD, give this one a try. Or, even better, if you’re looking for a read, pick up the book. When you’re done, let me know how it is!

Watching me from the air of endless delight
I think you must watch me and smile.
The way I talk, the things I write, the way I think
all turning your mouth and eyes with joy.
I can’t get away from feeling your happiness
over who I am, and what I have become;
your patience for how I am yet to be.

My God, your smile, my smile.

Fix You - COLDPLAY

by COLDPLAY

When you try your best but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
When you’re too in love to let it go
But if you never try you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Show me your flaws
so I can avoid the danger
involved in loving you.

Tell me your loves –
let them be of something
I can never be.

Help me shade my eyes
from the beauty I see in you;
beauty I’ve not seen before.

Help me hate the forbidden you;
help me hate you;
somebody help me.

Though knowledge can be a curse,
knowing friends with knowledge is a blessing.

Posting

Hello my faithful readers ... it's been a long time since I wrote anything that resembled a journal entry. Most of it has been either poetry or "thoughts".

Well, I've been busy, and I don't mean that as an excuse! Work work work ... I've just had the most stressful work situation I've ever had, but it's much better now. With the brain-draining day and the life-sucking commute, I just haven't had the energy for a life these days! Oh well, the commute is soon to end!

Starting March 1st, I will no longer be getting strange looks from co-workers and those I meet in Vancouver when I tell them I live in Abbotsford. "You're nuts!" they always say, and I never hear anybody complain about their ride in. So it's 110 minutes each way, it takes up a lot of my day. My new commute, from North Burnaby, will only be 30 minutes max! I found a nice big house last Saturday, with 4 other guys living in it. I get a room and we all share access to the gigantic kitchen, dining and living rooms. I'm excited! I even get to keep my car, so Abbotsford won't be such a memory.

To make it even better, my grandpa just gifted me with his laptop (which is how I'm able to post this evening). The place I'm moving to has an internet hook-up AND cable, so I'll be living large, though I've done happily without both for almost a year and a half.

I bought a t-shirt yesterday that says 'Kill Your TV'. I am quite proud.
Life is pretty much going on at the moment... as it always does.

Stupid

We all know how it is
to want to be stupid
if just for a while;
to choose sensuality over sense,
emotion over logic,
the short-term over long-,
now over forever.

Ah, the free life of the stupid man,
and so riddled with consequence!

Sometimes I consider the trade
of what I want and what it will cost me.
Sometimes I see life eye to eye,
instead of from a mountain’s peak.

Sometimes I just want to be stupid.

Good Anger

How tired am I and horrified
of this atrocious world.
Time and again reminded,
time and again reangered.
Idi Amin, Rwandan cleansing;
Sudanese camps, "famine";
international law created and unenforced -
the armies of enforcement too busy
conquesting for profit -
Hijacking Islam, hijacking Christianity,
hijacking anything of use;
Saudi royal terrorists;
Russian democratic facade;
making gain off the uneducated
and impoverished;
promising teenaged boys paradise;
brainwashing and bestowing weapons;
using every tragedy for political gain;
the White House regime.
When will the day of peace come,
when the evil get their reward
and the used get back what was stolen?
How long will we wait
for a new world order?

More than justice, we need peace.

Jesus Ball

They have Christian toys now. You can buy a scrunchie ball for the tyke in your life and have no guilt about it ... if you buy the Christian version of the ball - the "Jesus Ball". Yeah, my eyebrows are way up there too!

I don't know that there's much else to say about it. It's a new level of ... something. Not quite sleeze, but not quite hype either. It's hard enough to walk through a typical Christian book store without laughing these days. You've got all the fanchise book series' like the endless Left Behind saga. You've got the big hits like Jabez or PDL (and that's not a southern gospel 'praise da lowad!' but Purpose-Driven Life). You've got the murky pond of new books that bubbles up when the latest acceptable Hollywood blockbuster comes out (they're all the same book with a different cover!), like Narnia or The Passion. Yesterday I saw a book called 'Extreme Prayer Makeover' (I guess Jesus isn't the only one being hijacked). Let's not forget the other merchandise like jewellery (remember that WWJD band? I'm so proud I never got one!!), Jesus fishes, and bumper stickers proclaiming something to the effect of "see you in hell... from heaven!". And then there's the music, but let's just stop. It's getting to me...

The Jesus Ball!

What
the

heck

is

a

Jesus

ball

???

Catholics

I figured my last 2 posts were sort of negative, so I'd spice it up a bit with something nice...

From time to time I attend mass or Sunday vespers, and quite often I go to the Mission Abbey when I have a need to escape, or even retreat (they offer rooms if you want to spend a few days).

There is something awe-inspiring, I find, about the lineage of the priesthood, down which the torch has been passed on since Peter. And of course, Peter received the proverbial torch from Christ Himself. I find that incredible!

I also find it incredible that all these men (the monks) have vowed their lives away, have given up so much in the pursuit of salvation and wholeness. It's a very tangible expression of their devotion. Who in Evangelica can say that? We have nothing equivalent to monks.

I have actually pondered doing something similar to being a monk from time to time in my life. This should come as no surprise to those who know me. My blog is titled 'My Hermitage' after all. But that's another subject.

I love Catholics!

Reason To Believe

Marilyn Manson. Don't freak, that's not a swear! Though I'm sure for some the mention of that name evokes about the same shock to the system as hearing your mother use the f-word.

I was thinking about him recently after watching an interview. Nice guy, but hey, who isn't? And smart too. I thought, how did he arrive at this conclusion? He's a militant atheist who's vehemently opposed to Christianity in particular. From what I have heard/seen of him, his act is pretty much rooted in those two things, which, if you think about it, are the same.

Apparently, he went to a private Christian school growing up... who'd have thought?! I tend to understand his view. According to him, there is no God, so why not just do whatever you feel like doing (as long as it hurts no one else), because there is no reward for being good, no punishment for being bad, and no purpose to existence anyway. I don't oppose him at all. If atheism is true, his response is understandable.

[Sidenote: How free it would be to have no type of accountability! Yet I can't imagine the hell-existence of one who, without a creator, has absolutely no purpose or hope. I shudder every time I imagine godlessness. On the other hand, it's unwise to create faith, or a god for that matter, to fill that hole. I think a lot of faith out there is just that... forgetting. Faith must be based on truth. (And somehow, that statement seems impossible)]

Looking past all the lewd, the crude, and the rude, what is really there is an absense of belief (duh!). How sad. But, unfortunately, how expected. All things that were once believed spiritual are now explainable by science, there is no valid testimony of spiritual experience, people are only sympathetic of each other because it's good for them. It makes sense; I don't disagree.

Where is there a reason to believe? And if there's a reason, why believe in this God and not some other?

Read any chapter of any gospel and you will see a reason given to believe (for those present) with every path He crossed. Jesus never held back proof of divinity, of extra-terrestrial power; stuff that could be explained in no other way. If you saw one of His miracles you had to believe in a God, whether this was His son or not.

Well He's still alive, why isn't He proving it? Has He changed His mind on proving Himself? Or are we the ones who aren't creating the proof in His stead?

It makes sense, then, that the church in Marilyn's home country can accurately be described by 2 Timothy 3:5 "having a form of godliness, but denying its power."

Incidentally, it goes on to say, "have nothing to do with them".

At the end of the day, Marilyn may just be a product of those who protest his concerts. How ironic.

Are there any good?

I was thinking about people, and how strange it is that we develop sympathies and tolerance for traits in others that we can admit to ourselves. It seems that until we cross paths with a certain set of circumstances, our ignorance can make us insensitive.

Rare is it that a person is sympathetic to and accepting of every type of person. But one by one, as they encounter a different type, [the wiser of us] become more accepting.

I liken it to creating laws. It's not until there are too many incidents by a single cause that we outlaw the cause. Enron collapses, we create whistleblower-protection laws; 9/11, we install the Patriot Act; a child is run over, we set up a crosswalk.

Why? Why only develop sympathies and acceptance through either a struggle or an encounter with a struggle? Why not, by default, love everyone without knowing who they are or where they've come from? I think that is something only God is capable of.

"Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good - except God alone."

A lot of the time I think we run a 'guilty-until-proven-innocent' agenda with others (and by that I imply more people groups than to individuals). Quite frankly, sometimes we accept just because we can't get away with non-acceptance anymore. In other words, we don't sympathize out of our own goodness, but because it is to our own benefit. One may take a look at himself, and if he can muster up any admittance of flaw, may finally understand that they with sin can't [safely] throw stones. His sympathy is self-preservation. So I'm a cynic; so this is a 'glass-half-empty' analysis; I'm not saying it's universal. Heck, I am fully guilty!

In my view, our primary level of operation is the animal level. Paul calls it "the flesh", with its array of chemical reactions and its environment/experience-molded modus operandi, and it is a truth even Darwin would agree on. It's the inescapable self-prioritizing (while yet a beast), the survival syndrome, that is at the heart of every move. Must work for money for shelter for food for offspring. Must make wise-cracks to feel superior. Must create a flurry of busyness at church so I can please God. Must climb the corporate ladder. Must stay in a depressed state so people don't stop paying attention to me. Must tell at least 5 people how that girl wronged me so she pays for hurting me and I end up the "fittest"!

Even that which seems contrary to survival, things like suicide, can even be seen to be of a self-preservation method. People usually kill themselves to relieve themselves of pain. It's a twisted survival sister.

I think the Bible is true again when it says, "All a man's ways seem innocent to him". It goes on to say, "but motives are weighed by the Lord". Are there any good?

A solution seems impractical and far out of reach. One of my favourites, Jacob Boeme, puts it simply (yet so difficultly) : "our trance of selfishness must end".

Thank God for a new nature, one that goes against the grain of the old nature. One that brings to prominence our spirits as the heart of every action. And oh, what a fight the old nature puts up!
But no longer subject to the rule of flesh, we are like the One who brought us out of its slavery. We have the same heart of love, acceptance, and sympathy that produced such immense sacrifice. And over that creation, He can once again say "it is good!"