Emotion

One of the most insulting things anyone has ever said to me (and this wasn't too recently) is that I am "emotionally retarded". I don't know, I just can't shake it. Normally, when someone says something like this, I step back and evaluate the words said; I think we all do. This statement has just stuck into me like a thorn; I don't agree at all! It cuts even deeper when it's someone who's very very close to you. I'm sure everyone has a story like this.

In having this comment in the back of my mind for some time, I've thought a lot about emotions and emotional maturity, and I've come to realize that there is a fine line between 'emotionally retarded' and 'emotionally mature', or at least the perception of which is which. I know that sounds odd at first, but do let me continue...

I think what this person was referring to was the ability to feel, or feel much. To me, this can be said as I don't wear my heart on my sleeve. This is very true, and I find nothing wrong with it. I'm not entirely public with my inner workings, at least I haven't been in the past. However, this does not mean I don't feel, or have perception of the feelings of others. Quite the contrary ... hello! I write poetry! :)

I find it is in fact those who feel uncontrollably that are lacking some maturity. That is, you can feel all you want, and have feelings to no end, but to have no control, and to learn nothing from the experiences of having uncontrolled emotions wreak havoc on relationships is not the ideal emotional state. It creates misery for more than just the "emotional" one.

I've had my share of emotions, I've had truckloads, cement truck loads, and of course, when that happens to us, we learn to cope. We learn what's real and what isn't, what's worth dealing with and what is based on stupid guesses or assumptions. We learn about the intentions of others, about how difficult it is to communicate, to hear what's really being said. For example, when suddenly offended by something someone says, is being upset really valid? Was it said with the intent to offend? Or am I drawing offense out of a statement meant otherwise? Yet the ability to pick our battles is impossible without inner strength, being defined inwardly, rather than by the words of others.

For emotional maturity to come across as being "emotionally retarded" did well to teach me what emotional maturity really is.

My rants on emotions... thanks for reading!