Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
Death of a President
ReviewI don't know why I was excited to see this film. It's not that I really hate Bush, nor do I like him. I hated Bush... maybe I forgot that I don't really care anymore.
In any case, I sat through 1 hour and 45 minutes of bogus interviews collaged in a mock-up documentary that fanticizes the death of President George W Bush. I must say it was in poor taste and without a valuable point. I feel slightly like an attempt was made to woo me, to propogate me, to pull me left a little, but to no avail. I'm firmly indifferent.
In the film, George W Bush is assassinated and Dick Cheney assumes the throne, which, as we all know, will make absolutely no difference in how the world is run - Cheney was President all along.
It seems that any point the movie tried to make was this: those in power will choose a verdict that suits their purposes and will fill in the blanks, as it were, so everyone else believes the verdict too, only to use it as fuel to push their agenda. In this case, the Patriot Act III. Nothing new.
I'm disappointed. For a film that knew it would receive a lot of hype for its title alone, they didn't capitalize on such foresight. It was like being at a dinner party, mingling amongst the crowd, when one guy stands up on a chair clinking his glass with a dessert spoon. "Excuse me!" he says, "Can I get everyone's attention please!". With every conversation paused and every eye on him, there's silence. Finally, he clears his throat - the anticipation felt - and says, "just thought I'd say hello!" and stands back down.
Monday, October 23, 2006
'The Pulley' by George Herbert
When God at first made man
having a glass of blessings standing by,
"Let us," said He, "pour on him all we can:
let the world's riches, which dispersed lie,
contract into a span."
So strength first made a way;
then beauty flowed, then wisdom, honor, pleasure.
When almost all was out, God made a stay,
percieving that, alone of all His treasure,
rest in the bottom lay.
"For if I should," said He,
"bestow this jewel also on my creature,
he would adore my gifts instead of me,
and rest in Nature, not in the God of Nature;
so both should losers be.
"Yet let him keep the rest,
but keep them with repining restlessness.
Let him be rich and weary, that at least,
if goodness lead him not, yet weariness
may toss him to my breast."
~George Herbert~
having a glass of blessings standing by,
"Let us," said He, "pour on him all we can:
let the world's riches, which dispersed lie,
contract into a span."
So strength first made a way;
then beauty flowed, then wisdom, honor, pleasure.
When almost all was out, God made a stay,
percieving that, alone of all His treasure,
rest in the bottom lay.
"For if I should," said He,
"bestow this jewel also on my creature,
he would adore my gifts instead of me,
and rest in Nature, not in the God of Nature;
so both should losers be.
"Yet let him keep the rest,
but keep them with repining restlessness.
Let him be rich and weary, that at least,
if goodness lead him not, yet weariness
may toss him to my breast."
~George Herbert~
Friday, October 20, 2006
In Honour of my Grandparents...
Please see the post on my sister's blog regarding my Grandparents 91st birthdays:
Click Here
Wow! Happy Birthday Grandma & Grandpa!
Click Here
Wow! Happy Birthday Grandma & Grandpa!
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Meditation
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life,
neither angels nor demons,
neither the present nor the future,
nor any powers,
neither height nor depth,
nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8 : 35
Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life,
neither angels nor demons,
neither the present nor the future,
nor any powers,
neither height nor depth,
nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8 : 35
When I returned home...
When I returned home from work yesterday, I was immediately greeted by the "demon", which was met with an enveloping shield that I felt surround me immediately. I think I walked into a warzone. I was beginning to make dinner when I heard an obscure sound on the other side of my apartment. No big deal, I'll just carry on.
As I did, with every move I made, there was an accusation to match it. I'm talking things like "you pig, how could you eat so much rice when there are starving people all over the place?" and similar, ridiculous accusations. Whatever.
I was doing well, having quite the time with the Holy Spirit, when I finally told the thing to leave, with force. It replied "but I've been sent to kill you". A bit of a wrestle ensued, and some more accusations (of course), but before I went to bed, it left. Thank goodness, I'm glad to have got an undisturbed sleep.
Was it actually sent to kill me? Or was it just trying to scare me? If yes to either, why? I have no idea.
In the opposite spirit (a threat of death), I decided that the best thing to do would be to give life. The best I could come up with was food, so I bought some gift certificates from Tim Hortons and gave them to a homeless person downtown.
This is so strange for me. I have never before experienced a direct and vocal battle with such a thing. I'm trying to find it's source.
Oh well, it's gone for now! Thanks for reading!
As I did, with every move I made, there was an accusation to match it. I'm talking things like "you pig, how could you eat so much rice when there are starving people all over the place?" and similar, ridiculous accusations. Whatever.
I was doing well, having quite the time with the Holy Spirit, when I finally told the thing to leave, with force. It replied "but I've been sent to kill you". A bit of a wrestle ensued, and some more accusations (of course), but before I went to bed, it left. Thank goodness, I'm glad to have got an undisturbed sleep.
Was it actually sent to kill me? Or was it just trying to scare me? If yes to either, why? I have no idea.
In the opposite spirit (a threat of death), I decided that the best thing to do would be to give life. The best I could come up with was food, so I bought some gift certificates from Tim Hortons and gave them to a homeless person downtown.
This is so strange for me. I have never before experienced a direct and vocal battle with such a thing. I'm trying to find it's source.
Oh well, it's gone for now! Thanks for reading!
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Bad Dream
It was after 5 this morning that I had a dream, a bad one. I don't normally dream, and when I do, I hardly remember them (at least not for very long). In the dream, I was vacationing in some Caribbean hot spot, and was probably on my way home in a 747. We were flying low over the beaches. Very low. Our wing hit a tree and was taken right off. The plane went quiet, as we started to descend. No one knew what to do, whether we'd be ok. We crash landed on a beach, and we were all wondering whether or not the plane was about to explode. Panic began to erupt and that's when I woke up, a bit jolted.
I then heard a voice in my head whisper "I'm going to kill you" very sternly. Within 1 minute, my alarm sounded to wake me up for the day.
Now, I'm not one for this sort of thing -- the whole "spiritual warfare" scene. I'm always a bit skeptical of things like this when I hear about them. I also tend to believe they leave me alone for the most part. I more have to struggle with my own self and flesh. So for such an outright threat to occur is very unusual. (I must be doing something to anger them! Woohoo!)
I replied to whatever it was while I was getting ready for the day, basically sluffing off the threat, because really, it's not very threatening. To die is gain, and I don't mean that to sound like a cliche. And besides, it's not really up to a spirit or demon or whatever else to decide such a fate. My life is held elsewhere. That is not meant as a cliche either.
So, I'm writing this to get some creative suggestions. What do you think I should do to move in the opposite spirit and maybe cause a bit of damage to whoever made this threat? Apart from all the usual stuff we do to counteract things like this, how can we get creative? I want to use the threat as an opportunity to make something good out of it. How devastating for the threat-maker when he finds out what he caused?! Yeah, that's what I want!
Anyway, comment away! I'm all ears!
I then heard a voice in my head whisper "I'm going to kill you" very sternly. Within 1 minute, my alarm sounded to wake me up for the day.
Now, I'm not one for this sort of thing -- the whole "spiritual warfare" scene. I'm always a bit skeptical of things like this when I hear about them. I also tend to believe they leave me alone for the most part. I more have to struggle with my own self and flesh. So for such an outright threat to occur is very unusual. (I must be doing something to anger them! Woohoo!)
I replied to whatever it was while I was getting ready for the day, basically sluffing off the threat, because really, it's not very threatening. To die is gain, and I don't mean that to sound like a cliche. And besides, it's not really up to a spirit or demon or whatever else to decide such a fate. My life is held elsewhere. That is not meant as a cliche either.
So, I'm writing this to get some creative suggestions. What do you think I should do to move in the opposite spirit and maybe cause a bit of damage to whoever made this threat? Apart from all the usual stuff we do to counteract things like this, how can we get creative? I want to use the threat as an opportunity to make something good out of it. How devastating for the threat-maker when he finds out what he caused?! Yeah, that's what I want!
Anyway, comment away! I'm all ears!
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Meditation
When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers -
the moon and the stars you have set in place -
what are mortals that you should think of us,
mere humans that you should care for us?
For you made us only a little lower than God,
and you crowned us with glory and honour.
Ps. 8:3-5 (NLT)
Monday, October 16, 2006
Praise
O, praise the grace of our diseases,
praise the work of our afflictions,
praise the help of our suffering
in bringing us to life.
O, praise the condition we're found in,
put in, or taken out of;
praise the One who finds us,
puts us, or takes us from where we are.
O, praise sadness and madness,
praise happiness and nothingness.
Praise You who makes all things good
for all things are made good.
praise the work of our afflictions,
praise the help of our suffering
in bringing us to life.
O, praise the condition we're found in,
put in, or taken out of;
praise the One who finds us,
puts us, or takes us from where we are.
O, praise sadness and madness,
praise happiness and nothingness.
Praise You who makes all things good
for all things are made good.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
A Dream in the Dark Night
After years of tossing and turning,
seeking and finding,
living and dying,
restless all the while,
I came across my Lord,
sitting there alone.
Never met Him in person before,
but I sat there alongside Him,
and just had to know:
“Do you love me?” I asked, as innocently as I could.
“Yes,” He simply said.
“Really?” I dared to say.
“Yes,” He quickly replied.
Determined still, I spoke: “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” He replied in the very same tone.
I sighed, still slightly concerned
…paused…
and one last time muttered: “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” His sound beginning before the end of mine,
gazing down at His own Hands, unperturbed.
I paused again, to compute.
“Then no more evil, no more good –
that You love me is life to me, it really is.
I can rest now, here, in love.”
The air so thick and warm with easiness,
I lay my head there on His shoulder, all cares ceased.
“And one more thing,” His voice with passion whispered,“I love you.”
And with that I could sleep.
A Great Lesson Learned
My co-workers at a former job used to call me Becker after the grumpy sitcom star played by Ted Danson. And rightly so! I used to be in such a state that I hated the world and all those who lived in it. While I am still very sarcastic (a tough habit to break), I have gotten over my general disgust for all things human.
I was gently brought to correction by a great lesson learned, and that is this:
The secret to loving people is to understand them. However, as it is impossible to fully understand even one person, it is easier to understand that all people are understandable.
I have often been puzzled by love, especially by the fact that love was assumed for certain types of relationships. Then I realized that love comes from simply knowing, and the whole "love process" is one of getting to know eachother until we are fully known (Isaac "knew" his wife, if you know what I mean).
Even the seeming worst of our race have someone who loves them. Those who must pay for their crimes by death invariably have someone crying outside the killing room.
All people are lovable, and that fact alone makes loving all people possible.
I was gently brought to correction by a great lesson learned, and that is this:
The secret to loving people is to understand them. However, as it is impossible to fully understand even one person, it is easier to understand that all people are understandable.
I have often been puzzled by love, especially by the fact that love was assumed for certain types of relationships. Then I realized that love comes from simply knowing, and the whole "love process" is one of getting to know eachother until we are fully known (Isaac "knew" his wife, if you know what I mean).
Even the seeming worst of our race have someone who loves them. Those who must pay for their crimes by death invariably have someone crying outside the killing room.
All people are lovable, and that fact alone makes loving all people possible.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Happy Thanksgiving!
I've just re-read the posts I made yesterday, and I see now that they are quite dark (the poems I mean). Just so we're clear, I'm not normally that dark; I just had a bit of a spell recently, and I write while in my spells. I don't do a lot of writing when I'm happy, I guess because nothing is in need of processing.
So, to avoid the concern of friends and family, let me just be sure that you know I'm ok. It's all good!
It's Thanksgiving today! The leaves are turning different colours and are falling to the ground; it's sunny and crisp out, which excites me to no end. I am blogging away at my parents house - they've gone to the States for the weekend. I've been welcomed generously to the Lawrence's house for a Thanksgiving feast this evening, which will be quite an ordeal, because those Lawrence folks can create quite the sensational dinners.
By the way, I failed to mention in my football post yesterday that I actually had fun doing it. Though I wouldn't choose it as an activity on my own per se, I still quite enjoyed running around and falling down in the dirt, whether or not I was running the right way, or falling for the right reasons ;)
Happy Thanksgiving!
So, to avoid the concern of friends and family, let me just be sure that you know I'm ok. It's all good!
It's Thanksgiving today! The leaves are turning different colours and are falling to the ground; it's sunny and crisp out, which excites me to no end. I am blogging away at my parents house - they've gone to the States for the weekend. I've been welcomed generously to the Lawrence's house for a Thanksgiving feast this evening, which will be quite an ordeal, because those Lawrence folks can create quite the sensational dinners.
By the way, I failed to mention in my football post yesterday that I actually had fun doing it. Though I wouldn't choose it as an activity on my own per se, I still quite enjoyed running around and falling down in the dirt, whether or not I was running the right way, or falling for the right reasons ;)
Happy Thanksgiving!
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Give Me One Good Reason
In my moments of temptation
or when a teaser's sent to play,
give me one good reason
to turn the other way.
When I'm angry at your perspective
and it's more than I can bear,
give me one good reason
to maintain my solemn swear.
A million thoughts colliding,
there's chaos in my mind.
Nothing is true that was true
fifteen minutes behind.
Finally it boils down
when all truth is negated,
and "did He really say...?"
is what's left to be debated.
I recall in an instant
the first of man's rebellion;
the very same words convinced
the pair by that old hellion.
And in seeing such a parallel
I'm wondrously empowered;
the fruit remains there dangling,
but "no" makes me a tower.
Give me one good reason
to distrust my loved Creator;
to indulge is sweet and wonderful,
but His love is so much greater.
or when a teaser's sent to play,
give me one good reason
to turn the other way.
When I'm angry at your perspective
and it's more than I can bear,
give me one good reason
to maintain my solemn swear.
A million thoughts colliding,
there's chaos in my mind.
Nothing is true that was true
fifteen minutes behind.
Finally it boils down
when all truth is negated,
and "did He really say...?"
is what's left to be debated.
I recall in an instant
the first of man's rebellion;
the very same words convinced
the pair by that old hellion.
And in seeing such a parallel
I'm wondrously empowered;
the fruit remains there dangling,
but "no" makes me a tower.
Give me one good reason
to distrust my loved Creator;
to indulge is sweet and wonderful,
but His love is so much greater.
Bed of Confusion
I'm stretched out on a bed of confusion
like one of nails,
the weight of every want of mine even,
repelling them which probe.
Dare not toss or turn,
dare not curl up on my side
(though I want to),
I am on my back
and arguing in myself.
One who lies on a bed like this
does it not to rest,
but I am on it to find rest.
I am attached to these wants
as my head is to my body;
which one should I press down?
which part of me is useless?
I am stretched out on a bed of confusion
like one of nails.
like one of nails,
the weight of every want of mine even,
repelling them which probe.
Dare not toss or turn,
dare not curl up on my side
(though I want to),
I am on my back
and arguing in myself.
One who lies on a bed like this
does it not to rest,
but I am on it to find rest.
I am attached to these wants
as my head is to my body;
which one should I press down?
which part of me is useless?
I am stretched out on a bed of confusion
like one of nails.
Weight
weight oh weight
your time has come
to leave these shoulders bare
Loose your hold
fall away
rid me of my care
the danger
of shamelessness
is lawlessness
but freedom
with wisdom
is divine
your time has come
to leave these shoulders bare
Loose your hold
fall away
rid me of my care
the danger
of shamelessness
is lawlessness
but freedom
with wisdom
is divine
Don't Leave Me Alone
Don't leave me alone
or without distracting busyness
for I will invariably wander.
I'll find the forest
where darkness will blanket me
and owls will sing me to sleep.
It's always the same,
when pre-occupation fades,
that you will find me there.
Don't leave me alone
or without distracting busyness
for I will invariably wander.
or without distracting busyness
for I will invariably wander.
I'll find the forest
where darkness will blanket me
and owls will sing me to sleep.
It's always the same,
when pre-occupation fades,
that you will find me there.
Don't leave me alone
or without distracting busyness
for I will invariably wander.
Abstinence is Easy
Abstinence is easy
when beautiful eyes
on a beautiful face
on a beautiful body
aren't asking me if I'm interested too.
Abstinence is easy
when kissable lips
on a kissable face
on a kissable body
aren't begging to know me better.
Abstinence is easy
until every reason in me
is turned into a question,
and I'm left wondering
why abstinence at all.
Abstinence is easy
until my right mind
is bent to hounding hormones
excited by the sight of one who'll do.
Anyone would do.
In a city of the gathering
of those "who'll do",
and of lips and eyes of torture,
I must keep telling myself:
abstinence is easy.
Abstinence is easy.
when beautiful eyes
on a beautiful face
on a beautiful body
aren't asking me if I'm interested too.
Abstinence is easy
when kissable lips
on a kissable face
on a kissable body
aren't begging to know me better.
Abstinence is easy
until every reason in me
is turned into a question,
and I'm left wondering
why abstinence at all.
Abstinence is easy
until my right mind
is bent to hounding hormones
excited by the sight of one who'll do.
Anyone would do.
In a city of the gathering
of those "who'll do",
and of lips and eyes of torture,
I must keep telling myself:
abstinence is easy.
Abstinence is easy.
Can't Have Everything
When in my dips of disrepair
I think I see the truth revealed
as awakened from a trance.
But as I journey back to joy
it's knowing I'd forgotten that
which is higher in the truth.
Even so, at all times, I
am beaten with grave knowledge:
my life is ever limited;
my wants can't co-exist.
And so I must accept this cap
on how my days will fill me.
I know I can't have everything.
I think I see the truth revealed
as awakened from a trance.
But as I journey back to joy
it's knowing I'd forgotten that
which is higher in the truth.
Even so, at all times, I
am beaten with grave knowledge:
my life is ever limited;
my wants can't co-exist.
And so I must accept this cap
on how my days will fill me.
I know I can't have everything.
Backstreets & Darkness
We only hold hands on backstreets,
we're only close in the dark
and I'm tired of being afraid.
Dark is a hiding place
where sinners to their sinning
and no one walks on backstreets
where thieves take in their winnings.
Why are we among them
who need the darkness to hide?
I am not a criminal
who stole, or raped, or lied!
So,
take my hand on Main Street
I'll kiss you for the sun,
'cause I'm tired of being afraid.
we're only close in the dark
and I'm tired of being afraid.
Dark is a hiding place
where sinners to their sinning
and no one walks on backstreets
where thieves take in their winnings.
Why are we among them
who need the darkness to hide?
I am not a criminal
who stole, or raped, or lied!
So,
take my hand on Main Street
I'll kiss you for the sun,
'cause I'm tired of being afraid.
You Gave Me
For all my time
You've watched me
live in sadness.
You plugged me in
pointed me this way
and watched me.
How could you keep silent
and watch me cry
over what You gave me?
You put honey in my hand
and told me not to eat it.
You've watched me
live in sadness.
You plugged me in
pointed me this way
and watched me.
How could you keep silent
and watch me cry
over what You gave me?
You put honey in my hand
and told me not to eat it.
Football? Me?
Yes, it's true, I engaged in the sporting of men this afternoon in the true spirit of Thanksgiving. I played football. Come to think of it, the last time I played football I was in grade 7, maybe 8. I went to visit my friend Shadrach who lived in Burnaby at the time. He was going to play football at the park with some friends, and I went along of course. I hadn't the slightest clue what I was doing then, nor this, the second time I've played football in 12 years.
I had a mind of eagerness and watchfulness this time though, trying to get the gist of just what was going on; why this guy was doing this, why that guy was doing that, which way we were running, etc. Quite hilarious actually. When propositioned for the afternoon game, I told my invitee that I wasn't a football player, but decided to go anyway, remembering a line from 'As Good As It Gets' (Simon to Melvin), "the best thing you got going for you is your willingness to humiliate yourself...". Yes, I decided to play football this afternoon because of a line from 'As Good As It Gets'. (As this is an initial post, you're getting a good picture of just what sort of blog this is going to be, or rather, just what type of person I am).
So, with the willingness to humiliate myself in the name of killing time in the sunshine and trying to be accepted as "one of the guys" I played football. I'm laughing, it's just too funny. I showed up, pretended I knew what I was doing; I asked what the heck was going on several times, mostly to one who was a teenager, and one who was a senior; you know, so I wouldn't look bad asking a stupid question to one of my peers. And we played, and I tripped a couple times (like when there wasn't another guy within 8 feet of me... lol... TWICE!) I did what they told me to do, and... AND... the very last play, I touch-tackled the QB just before he threw the ball to a receiver in the end zone, who caught it and finished off the game. BUT alas, in order not to make a scene, and since nobody saw (except the QB who asked, "you got me didn't you?"), I let it go, and we finished the game... thank God. If I had spoken up, we'd have played longer.
Cheers to football. RIP.
I had a mind of eagerness and watchfulness this time though, trying to get the gist of just what was going on; why this guy was doing this, why that guy was doing that, which way we were running, etc. Quite hilarious actually. When propositioned for the afternoon game, I told my invitee that I wasn't a football player, but decided to go anyway, remembering a line from 'As Good As It Gets' (Simon to Melvin), "the best thing you got going for you is your willingness to humiliate yourself...". Yes, I decided to play football this afternoon because of a line from 'As Good As It Gets'. (As this is an initial post, you're getting a good picture of just what sort of blog this is going to be, or rather, just what type of person I am).
So, with the willingness to humiliate myself in the name of killing time in the sunshine and trying to be accepted as "one of the guys" I played football. I'm laughing, it's just too funny. I showed up, pretended I knew what I was doing; I asked what the heck was going on several times, mostly to one who was a teenager, and one who was a senior; you know, so I wouldn't look bad asking a stupid question to one of my peers. And we played, and I tripped a couple times (like when there wasn't another guy within 8 feet of me... lol... TWICE!) I did what they told me to do, and... AND... the very last play, I touch-tackled the QB just before he threw the ball to a receiver in the end zone, who caught it and finished off the game. BUT alas, in order not to make a scene, and since nobody saw (except the QB who asked, "you got me didn't you?"), I let it go, and we finished the game... thank God. If I had spoken up, we'd have played longer.
Cheers to football. RIP.
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